i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
