I feel like abortions should bother me more
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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