If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
