I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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