I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
