good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
