Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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