She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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