Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
