I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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