I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
