No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
