Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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