all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
