a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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