I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
pray to the hookup gods
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
