butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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