The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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