it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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