do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
