chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
