I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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