I'm lost and stupid without you.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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