this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
