I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
