Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize