She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
