I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
