They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
