And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize