yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
