Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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