Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
