I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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