Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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