Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
