i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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