Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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