Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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