God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
