I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
