i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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