TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
