Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
