You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yo dont text me then not text me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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