UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
