Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
time to smoke my breakfast
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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