brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
