if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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