We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize