He is an equal opportunity slut.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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