just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
