We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
