So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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