Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
