All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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