please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
