Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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