He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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