Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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