I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
