Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
