Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
