As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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