Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
