The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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