idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
