I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
